Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
