he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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