so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
