So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
