i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
