You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
