I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
