I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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