found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
