What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
