my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize