Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
