That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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