on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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