nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
