he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
