I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
