Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
