HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
