I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Randomize