go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
