No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
