so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
