I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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