Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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