He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
