Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Well I just put wine in my tea
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Everyone says I win the strip club
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize