I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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