oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
