Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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