As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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