you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
