Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
someone owes me an orgasm
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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