oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
