who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
