my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
