Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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