it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize