I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Is it penis luge time yet?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
