I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
