i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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