Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
