yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
