Im at strip club and am horny
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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