Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize