I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
