And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
