so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize