I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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