she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
