what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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