whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
