I want to stick my p in your. b.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
