There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
