At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
