Nicole vs. Life
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
