fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
