Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
