i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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