Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Randomize
