ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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