Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
