I'm gonna have a badass scar
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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