Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
