so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
