last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
