My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
