I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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