I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
