Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
You smell like stripper and shame
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
